confessions of a serial hobbyist

So I’ve been sitting here, allowing this blog to stagnate for the past couple of months.
The last real posts I’ve done and gotten any readers for were me complaining about iLife and iMovie…and since then I just haven’t had a chance to do much.

Fastforward to last Friday when I decide to pick things up, and start off by going through comments…
7834 comments in moderation…WHAT?!?!?

So I start going through (I have about 2500 left to sift through still)…of those 7800+ comments I’ve found about 5 real comments in there and a WHOLE lot of spam. And it makes me sad to think that people are actually taking time to read something I’ve written, and taking time to comment on it, and I never reply any noone ever sees it because it’s buried amongst ads for sketchy loan officers and street corner pharmacists. So I’m trudging through, I’m trying to set things up better so that comments will actually get through and spam will be thrown aside, and hopefully this will encourage me to get writing more.

There almost might start to be a slightly businessy side to future posts, as I currently run a small business (of which I don’t think I’ve ever named or linked in this blog…and will probably keep it that way) and it’s just one of the things often on my mind. It’s a hobby, as well as my job, so it fits…and if one of the maybe 5 people who occassionally read this blog disagree, so be it.

As time goes on it seems that life gets more and more busy.
And yet for some stupid reason I seem to gain more and more hobbies. Go figure.

I’ve had my rather awesome Canon HV20 HDV camcorder for a while now, and other than a few snippets of my son trying to walk I’ve barely gotten to use it. It’s one of those things where I want to go out and shoot some scenes, especially as there are some very movie-esque areas around here. But there just doesn’t seem to be much time to go out and do something just because I want to. Just about everything has to have a reason or benefit or I have difficulty justifying the time. Is it just me or is that sad? Are our lives really that over-run with stuff that there’s no time to do something just because we want to?

Then there’s my script. I started writing it, finally. A few pages of the beginning, and a few pages of the middle are written. I just have a hard time finding the time to write more. Sure I know, I’m writing this and could be working on my script, but this is something I can write here and there over time and publish when it’s finished. The constant interruptions don’t affect this as much, where-as when writing my script, I really need to just focus on the writing for long periods of time to really get flowing. And on top of the script I’ve started, I have two more script ideas I want to get down. Someday I’ll get the chance I suppose.

So what is it…is it just me that has this problem? Do I just have screwed up priorities and other people have time for their hobbies? Or is this something everyone faces?

Everything is on demand these days. You push a button and it comes to your doorstep, or it’s downloaded to your computer, or you just subscribe to something and it comes to you without any effort. It sounds great, right? But at what point does living in this on-demand world start to sacrifice actually living?

My wife and I used to go to Blockbuster and just walk around looking at the aisles of bad movies, and occasionally have something stand out that we just had to rent. It was time spent together out of the house. But now? We just hit a few buttons to shove a movie into our Netflix queue and that’s that. It gets here when it gets here and we never had to leave our home. The first few months it was fantastic; movies came in a steady flow and we had new things to watch and it was great. But now I miss actually going out to Blockbuster. I miss us walking over there just to look around, because that time we used to spend outside together is now likely spent with me on the computer and her on the couch, or her on the computer and me at work. Has convenience killed the joy in renting movies for me?

Another example: RSS feeds. I’m a Mac whore, I’ll get that out of the way right now. So as soon as Safari with RSS came out, I subscribed to the RSS feeds on every single website I visit regularly. So now I just have this steady influx of 1-2 new postings as they come in. You know what I miss? Actually sitting at my computer and going to sites, the almost thrill of checking for something new to read. But I don’t have that, because now I know in advance if they’ve been updated or not. I no longer have that 15 minute break in the middle of the day when I’d go around searching my favorite sites for content, because I already know what’s there, and I already know what it’s about, and I already have seen the gist of it fly by on my laptop’s screensaver. Has convenience ruined just surfing the web for me?

I don’t know…a couple examples…possibly a couple of stupid examples, but something to think about none-the-less. At what point does everything being brought to you kill the enjoyment of you actually getting something yourself.

I have what could be thought of as a problem. As I mentioned in my last post, I tend to find new hobbies fairly regularly, and they are almost always expensive. And of course when buying tools or supplies for my new expensive hobby, I generally look at the best and most expensive items possible. The logic here is flawed, but here it is none-the-less:
If it turns out I enjoy this hobby, I know I’m going to keep getting better, and will continue to need better and better tools to work with. So doesn’t it makes sense to just buy the good stuff now, than to buy something as a “starter” and then go back and spend the money on the good stuff later?

As an example: last year I decided I wanted to write and shoot an indie film. Why? Because I’ve always loved writing, I’ve always loved movies, and because it’s a new challenge. So obviously if I’m going to make a movie, I need atleast one camera, right? Now here is where that logic comes in. Since I would just be starting with digital videography and non-linear editing, my wife would most likely recommend that I get a lower priced camera to start with, and if after playing around and learning more I still want to do this, look into it then. Good advice I suppose. But if I’m going to enjoy this and follow through on it (and of course I’m convinced I will because it’s my latest interest) I’ll eventually need a good camera, and so the money spent on the lesser camera would just be wasted.

The best thing here is that I KNOW my thinking is flawed, because I know more often than not after playing around with a hobby a bit I move on, but I can’t convince myself at the time. It’s interesting to me how as humans we can know what’s true and right and yet still believe, or atleast deep down WANT to believe, the opposite. We have got to be the dumbest intelligent creatures on earth.

In my old journal(s) (before they were called blogs) I used to do self check-ups every now and then. This is where I’m at in life, what I’ve done since the last check-up, and where I want to go.

Let’s start with some basics. I’m 26 years old, married to a wonderful woman, and have a son who is going to turn 1 year old on Sunday. Frightening how quickly the past year has gone, as I never believed my parents when they told me how my childhood went by in a blink.

The unfortunately obvious statement of the year: I work a lot. Too much probably. But that’s what it takes to get the job done, and so that’s what I do. I hope to not always have to, but this is where I am right now.

I have far too many hobbies, all of which are too expensive, and none of which I get to spend any time with. I try to do too much. I’m an engineer, entrepreneur, author, film-maker, musician, and gamer. And because I try to do too much, I have little to show but a pile of half-finished projects, because something always interrupts me. I used to lie to myself and tell myself that someday I’d get back to them all and see them all finished…but I know better now. I’m an absolute gadget-whore. I love my little toys. And I fall into the same pattern: I get a new interest, I spend a lot of money on it (I’ll make a post on the logic behind this later…), and learn everything I can. Then, almost every time, I learn everything I can about this interest, and suddenly there aren’t piles of things to learn, and my interest dwindles, and I move on to something else. I guess I’m constantly on the search for interests that won’t disappear in a year or so, once I’ve learned everything I can.

Wow, that was a surprisingly honest post, considering this was meant to be a little introduction, but hey, honesty, especially with yourself, can only lead to good.

Future posts coming: My love of cell-phones, and why I have to always buy the best.